hypocrite.

i feel sick.
im a hypocrite.
i just tried it after all this shit i gave to danielle and maddy.
it's just so tempting though.

im sick of trying.
sick of trying to find a friend that understands how i feel.
sick of trying to please people.
sick of trying to please myself.
sick of grades.
sick of parents
sick of hormones
sick of puberty
sick of good-looking people
sick of people with amazing skin (jacinda)
sick of annoying people.
sick of braces
sick of being young
sick of growing up
sick of stupid quotes like "Live your life to the fullest." ...bitch, i'm trying.
sick of optimists
sick of beauty
sick of pictures
sick of fashion
sick of makeup
sick of ignorance
sick of cruelty.
sick of prejudice
sick of love
sick of friends
sick of people
sick of society
sick of life.

yet, im holding on like i've got something to look for.
i almost started crying at lunch.
i hate being sad.
why, oh why?

EDIT:
and why does it feel so good to pour my feelings onto a virtual website?
why dont i just pour it out to a friend?
are humans so not understanding that we rely on technology for emotional relief?