The Past

I haven't written in such a long time.
While I read my old posts, I can't help but get teary-eyed.
I have nowhere to go for emotional relief. I don't like to talk to other people about my problems because I'm scared they'll either judge me or not understand.
I wish I could cry.... I never cry these days.
Only an occasional tear if I encounter something truly deplorable and painful.

I know I've said this many times before, but I feel like a soul-less body just taking up space and air.
I find solace only in trying to explain to someone my problems, but no one understands.
It sucks to have no one understand you.
It makes you feel so lonely....
Maybe I was born to end up a lonely and desolate person.
I don't even know.

I just dwell on the past so much. The past was where I was actually happy.
It's hard not to remember times where you were happy.... But I try to fake and mimic things I did in the past... I am desperate for happiness.

Very desperate.