My Brain is Spewing Thoughts 2.9.10

Do you ever sit on bed, listen to some decent sorrowful music?

With no option, you just begin to ponder.

You can't do this in front of a computer screen.

In front of a computer screen, you just type the things that are on top of your head, but you never think. (This blog is copied from my journal.)

I know, you're thinking "Uh oh, not another depressing blog!"

Well I'm sorry that I'm depressing. You can go ahead and click the X button on the top right.

To Maddy:

I don't really know why I like you (no offense)

In fact, I wonder if it's because I actually like you or I just care about you a lot as a bff?

I think about it almost everyday. Whenever I do, I think about your dark side. When I first met you, I disliked you because you were the typical girly type which I absolutely despised. Then, I got to know you.

You ARE different.

You ARE unique.

Whenever I look in your eyes, I see the pain you hide.

The real you.

Haha, I'm so cheesy.

And I do believe you can change and stop getting the majority of people to stop judging you. It's all about willpower. If I can do it, so can you.

Why am I writing this block of text?

I honestly... have no idea. I'm just letting my feelings out, don't judge. (:

I'm not obsessed with you or anything. Haha, that would be awkward. I like to be honest and try to help people by telling my thoughts of them. Encourage them.

I have my own corrupt life to worry about. But those with corrupt lives interest me, and I just feel like there's a connection.

Maybe, that's just me.

And I probably emberassed myself, and I'll try to avoid you for awhile if ya want.

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The past few months, I've been building a shell around me that makes me get duller day by day.

I am no longer motivated to live my life to it's potential.

And I hate being the one that care about others than myself.

It kills me. I honestly would kill myself if I had to to save a bff's life.

Tamara, Tim, Ed, Maddy, Danielle.

And I feel like I'm alone in Jordan Middle School. Like no one understands me.

But of course, there's SOME people that understand 100% like Ed<3

I truly do love you, bestest friend.

You are probably the only reason why I still bother to get up in the morning.